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Don’t read this if you like cereal

Darwin was wrong, and the #CerealChallenge proves it. What is the #CerealChallenge, you say? Brace yourself. Take a breath. Stop reading if you’re feeling irritable and/or eating cereal. The #CerealChallenge is the latest trend on TikTok. Have you ever felt inclined to eat cereal out of someone else’s mouth? Well, now you have an excuse not only to do it, but to film yourself doing it and then to upload it on the internet. Because that’s what the #CerealChallenge entails.

When I first read that people were eating cereal out of each other’s mouths, I saw an image in my mind of people imitating the feeding techniques of birds. Meaning one person chews cereal and then lets it drop into the other person’s mouth. That was the wrong interpretation. I suppose I should have known better.

In the #CerealChallenge, one person’s mouth acts as the bowl. He or she lies down flat on his or her back. (The floor and the table are ideal surfaces based on my research.) That person then opens up wide, as you do at the dentist’s office. The other proceeds to pour cereal and milk into the gaping mouth (the cereal is typically poured first, though I’ve seen it done the other way round; each to his own).

Once the cereal is in the “bowl,” the upright person grabs a spoon and digs in. The video clip is usually accompanied by some atrocious R&B song.

It’s a repellent spectacle. It’s also, as you might imagine, quite dangerous. In one video, a man attempts (or pretends to attempt) to do this with a young woman he introduces as his sister. The sister dumps the milk in first. It’s too much, though, and once the cereal is added the man spits it all over his face and the table.

I’m waiting for the news story about the teenager who choked to death while trying out the #CerealChallenge.

The #CerealChallenge is revolting in any case. But more so when someone tries it with a dog, as one person did. In that clip, a boy who looks to be college-age lies down on the floor and someone else pours milk into his mouth as a dog looks on. Once the milk is in place the dog is allowed to walk over, at which point it begins to drink the milk from the boy’s mouth. Off camera someone can be heard laughing inanely.

The video’s caption says that “he yakked in the bathroom after this.” You don’t say …

The first such “challenge” I remember seeing is the Ice Bucket Challenge. That, while dumb, reportedly raised more than $200 million for ALS research. The only value the Cereal Challenge is likely to have is providing extraterrestrials with a case study in primitive human behavior.

By Matthew Jackson

I'm a tech guy who maintains a number of websites. I like to keep up to date on the weird, wild world that is social media, hence this blog. My friends--I have a few--call me MJ.